The Beginning - My Diary2

After, what seemed like eternity of sitting there and crying, I stood up. I told him that I had run his bath water and his clothes were washing. Then he laughed at me telling me, he didn’t know I was the domestic type. I laughed back with him before throwing a pillow at him. He told me that he had some clothes in his trunk and I offered to go downstairs and get them. That would give him time to get up, call home and then get in the tub. He gave me his keys. As I turned to walk away, he pulled me back and just held me. I put my arms around him and held on tight. I could feel his heart beating as if it was mine. I stood on my tip toes and kissed him. Then I pulled his arms from around me. As I walked away, I wiped the tears from my eyes. This shit was getting too emotional for me. Maybe, I needed to get away, by myself. I threw on my Juicy Couture sweat suit and rode the elevator to the garage. When I got off the elevator, I saw his Crystal Red CTS parked in the visitor’s parking space. As I approached his car, I could feel someone watching me. As I turned to look, the car sped off. I couldn’t tell if it was male or female but it was definitely a black car. My reflexes impulsed me to run after it but it turned the corner before I could catch it. In Queens, the car was able to not get caught in traffic, what luck! I went back into the garage and got the clothes from his car. Before I got back on the elevator, I stopped past the security office. I knocked before the security guard opened the door. I explained to him what had just happened and requested to see the videotapes. He explained that I needed to put it in writing formally. I assured him that I would. I took the form he handed me and left. This time, I went through the security’s office instead of through the garage.

When I got back upstairs, Frank was in the Jacuzzi. I went into the bedroom, laid his clothes on the bed and then walked into the bathroom. I told him about the car downstairs and he said he would look into it, also. Frank was a police officer, actually a detective for the Burglary unit. I asked him when he was due to go into work. He stated that he had taken some time off for personal reasons and that he was still moonlighting. I told him that I was planning on going into Mineola to visit my parents. He asked if he could go. Against, my better wishes and because I knew my parents would love to see him, I agreed. Then I stepped out of my sweat suit and into the Jacuzzi. We made love, we talked and then we washed. I got out first and got dressed. I steam ironed his clothes, while he straightened up the bathroom. It was another glimpse for me to see what life could’ve been like. It was like the world was spinning around me, again. Oh well, I was living the life I wanted and I was contempt.

We rode in my Cayenne to Mineola. It took about an hour and half with traffic. We left during the wrong time of day. By the time we had left my house it was 3:30pm, which meant we ran into after school traffic. Driving through Queens, we laughed and talked about the old times. Neither one of us mentioned the reason why we had broken up. Just as well, my mind was still preoccupied with the car out of my parking lot. I guess that’s why I didn’t see the black car try to cut us off. Before I could react the car had cut into my lane as I pulled up. Frank screamed and cursed and I just slammed the brakes. It looked like the same car, as this morning. Frank wrote down the license plate as I sped up to try and catch it. The car disappeared in traffic and now I was sure someone was following me. We chose to leave it for later and just enjoy the visit with my parents.


It felt good to pull up to my parents’ house. I hadn’t seen my parents in a little over two weeks. They didn’t like coming into Queens and I had my hands full with my life. I spoke to my mother every other day. I knew that her seeing Frank and his seeing her would be good for the both of them. We got out of the car and walked up to the front door. Mrs. Madison, my parents’ neighbor stopped us and spoke. I’m sure that her seeing us would let the whole neighborhood know that we were together. By the time that I got home, I knew Frank’s mother and my mother would be on the phone. Right now, it was okay. Right now, everything was okay because once I found out who was stalking me there would be hell to pay.

My mother answered the door with both pleasure and surprise on her face. As she hugged Frank, she looked at me. I just shrugged my shoulders and walked past them. My Dad was in the kitchen making sandwiches. It was at that moment I realized how hungry, I was. Breakfast seemed like a lifetime ago. I went into the kitchen with him, as Frank and my mother talked. When Dad and I carried lunch into the dining room, my Mother was shaking her head and assuring Frank that everything would be okay. Dad sat down at the table and asked what was going on. Frank started telling him what had been going on in his life within the last year. My Dad being himself told Frank that his wife was never good enough for him and that no matter what he needed to consider the girls but get out of the marriage. That shocked me. My parents believed that people stayed together, no matter what happened in the relationship. They often told me that my generation gave up too easily. So hearing my Dad speak those words, bought me back to reality. I had been half listening, half thinking about the car, again. My Mom just looked at me throughout most of the visit. I was careful not to meet her eyes. I didn’t want her to see something in them. She had a good way of being able to read me. As it started to get dark, we left to leave. I told her that Frank needed to get home and that I had a busy weekend ahead. I left the name of the Hotel in Philly and my itinerary. I always gave her that information for safety issues. Although, she didn’t agree with my lifestyle, she always made sure that she knew where I was.


Frank drove back to my place, I was relieved. I was emotionally tired and I wanted to rest my eyes. We were at my condo before I knew it. Frank gave the keys to the doorman, as he opened my door. I didn’t say anything but I knew that he was coming up with me. He held me tightly as we rode upstairs in the elevator. He took the keys out of my hands and opened the door. I walked in before him and he closed and locked the door. I saw from where I stood in the foyer that Sabrina had been there. I was too tired tonight to pack plus Frank was still here. Normally, his or anyone’s being at my home wouldn’t stop me from doing what I had to do. I just wanted to respect Frank’s emotional status. I heard him cut on the shower and I started to undress. Frank had removed all his clothes by the time I got to my underwear. As I stepped out of my panties, Frank lifted me up and carried me to the shower. Before we stepped in, he reached up on my hook and took down my shower cap. He brushed my hair back and put my shower cap on my head. I laughed because he knew how I was about getting my hair wet. He lifted me into the shower and washed my body down. Then as I rinsed, he washed. He stepped out of the shower first and dried himself off. He took a towel down and then dried me off. After that, he lotion me down and carried me to bed. As I adjusted my pillow, I reminded him that was I going out of town in the morning. He kissed me and told me that he wanted to live for tonight. All I could do was lay back and allow him to do what he wanted with my body. I slept very peacefully.


The next morning, tables had been turned. When I awoke, Frank had breakfast on the kitchen table and was on the phone. I could tell from his conversation that he was getting information on the car from yesterday. I ate slowly and listened to the conversation. Frank hung up the phone and told me that the car was a rental from Budget but that his partner was going to investigate to see who had rented it. I went and got the inquiry from the parking garage and filled it out. I took it into my office, copied it and then put it into an envelope to drop off at the security desk. Frank had gotten dress; he put on the clothes from Thursday night. I asked him was his staying out something he did on the regular. He told me that he had taken to staying with his parents’ for some nights. He said that when he needed to talk he would stay at his cousin James’ house. That bought the memories of his wife, James and the other man to mind. I still hadn’t said anything to Frank about the DVDs. I still felt that it was best for me not to say anything. My house phone rang and I answered it. I was hoping, it was Frank’s wife but it was Friend. He seemed real intense. I rolled my eyes because I couldn’t deal with any more drama, at this time. He said that he had looked into Frank and his wife and that he wanted to discuss it. I excused myself into my bedroom and told him that I would get back to him on Monday about it. I told him about the car and gave him the license plate number. He agreed that it would be in my best interest to go away. I told him that I already had plans and that I would call him when I got to my destination. We hung up the phone.

When I walked back into the living room, Frank was waiting for me. We talked for awhile in the living room and then he sat in my dressing room with me, while I packed. We didn’t discuss the future, as I knew there wasn’t one for us. He talked about his getting a divorce and asking for visitation rights. I agreed with him that it may be good for him and the girls. After I finished packing, I called downstairs to Ralph, to send someone up. Frank carried my Louis Vuitton luggage to my foyer. I went to shower and get dress.

After he called his moonlighting job, he called his parents. I spoke to his mother catching her up on what was going on, in my life. I left out the phone call from Frank’s wife and my love life. I’m more discreet than considerate when it comes to Frank. Whose business is it really other than mine, that I now had 3 sleeping partners? Men do it all the time and I’m careful, so I’m destined to do me.




I called Justin while Frank spoke to his wife from my den. I told him that I would be leaving Queens within the hour and that I would call him while I was on the road. He told me that he was already headed to Philly and that he would meet me at the hotel. I was really looking forward to getting away from New York, if only for the night. Justin seemed to be the only one who didn’t bring drama. I liked that he respected the fact that I didn’t want to hear anything about his family. I really don’t think he wanted to think about them when he was me. I felt like he didn’t want to discuss them. Discussing them, brought reality to our make-believe life.


After hanging up with him, I waited for Frank to come out of the den. From the look on his face, I could tell that he had been crying. I felt all kinds of emotions at that moment. I knew the best thing for both of us was for me to get on the highway and send Frank on his way. I got up from the couch and went to him. I held him and kissed his face until he stopped the crying. I could only have sympathy for him. I knew what it felt like to lose him but not what it felt like to lose my children. He stopped crying and held me until I broke out of his clutch. I picked up my Bottega Veneta handbag and walked towards the door. I laid my extra key on the counter and told him that he could either stay here or leave. I only had one request, that he didn’t tell James or anyone where he was. After this evening, when the DVDs arrived, I didn’t want James coming to my house or telling his wife my address. My main reason was that I didn’t want Frank to be there, if his wife arrived. I wanted to be home, to meet with her face to face. I had a lot more than just an ass - whipping for her, after all of this. Frank kissed me and I got on the elevator. On my way down, I realized that I hadn’t called for my car. I pressed the button for the lobby and got off there. I stopped and spoke to Ralph, while the valet went and got my car. I asked Ralph about any strange cars or people asking for me. He assured me that he didn’t know anything but that he would keep his eyes and ears open. I believed him.

I got in my Cayenne and headed for 95S. I wasn’t sure what Frank was going to do but I would let him, Friend and all the drama be behind me. I hit my CD player to Ashanti’s new CD, ‘The Declaration’. I forwarded to my favorite track, ‘Things you make me do’. I love the song; it put me in the mind of something that Monifah would do. I know that the CD is definitely one that shows her grown and sexy! I couldn’t believe that the music industry was sleeping on this CD. I was so into the song, that I didn’t see the black car following me.