The Beginning - My Diary

The ringing from my cell phone woke us up. When I looked at the clock, it was already after 11am. I still had to check on my car or get a rental. Justin handed my cell phone to me. I looked at the caller ID and didn’t recognize the number. When I answered it was the Geico Service representative. They wanted to verify that I was going to pick up my vehicle. Once the arrangements were made, we ordered breakfast in. We talked about how well our relationship was going. I, again, stressed that I loved living carefree. I explained that although I had a good time when I was with him, I didn’t want anything serious. I stressed that it had nothing to do with him. It was all about me and how I saw my life. He didn’t seem to like it but he understood.

We showered together. We didn’t have time to make love again. Time was getting close for us to check out and for me to pick up my Suv. I couldn’t see how they could’ve repainted it in that short amount of time. Justin said that they probably buffed the paint from the other vehicle out. Well, it wouldn’t be long before I knew. We got dressed, verified that we had packed everything and went to check out. At the counter for checkout, I insisted that I pay for the hotel stay. Justin had paid for everything else and I liked to keep a balance in all my relationships. I was getting anxious to get home. I was curious to know if Frank, his wife and James had gotten the DVDs.

Once we got to the Geico service center, Justin had been right. They had buffed the paint out of my bumper. I was ok with it. The black paint was gone and no one could even tell that I had been in an accident. I filled out the pick –up forms while Justin moved my bags from his car to mine. I could tell by the way he was moving that he wasn’t ready for our weekend to be over. It didn’t matter because as much as I was ready to get away, I was ready to get back home. I guess going away doesn’t really solve anything. Not when there were issues left unresolved. Once, I got my Suv squared away, I was gone. The Geico service technician drove my car around to the front of the building. Justin waited by his car for me. I walked up to him and started kissing him. He had to bend his 6’ 7” frame over to kiss me back. He held me tighter and longer than usual. I felt this was because we wouldn’t see each other for at least another 3 days. When he let me go, I knew his back had to be hurting. I teased him about it. My joking helped to lighten the mood. We both had to hit 476S before his veering off 95South and me, 95North. So we rode side by side for 25 minutes, talking on the phone before going our separate ways.

Once I crossed the line onto The New Jersey Turnpike, I was more than ready to get home. I called Friend to see if he had any new news on the car. He didn’t answer his cell phone. I then called his answering service. I left a message and hung up. I called Frank next. When Frank answered he was hysterical. My heart started beating so hard that I thought he could hear it through the phone. Frank was talking so incoherently that I had to get out of the fast lane and slow down. I let him get through his story and then I asked him to stop and start all over again. This time he went a little slower. He started with his going to pick up the girls on Saturday afternoon. Frank said that the girls weren’t there and his wife was up to her old tricks. He said that she had agreed for him to pick up the girls and then sent them to her parents’ house. He said that she had tried to use sex as a tool to get back with him. He said that he wasn’t having it. He knew that from his wife’s last trick, he was sure that he had to get a divorce. This was too much for me. It meant that he still hadn’t seen the DVD. Just as I was thinking that, I heard Frank say something about kill James.

This bought me out of my thoughts. I asked Frank to again, repeat himself. This time I heard everything he said. Frank told me that he heard James talking to Frank’s wife. Frank said, “That what he could get from the conversation was that James had been feeding Frank’s wife stories about Frank and he was sure his wife had gotten my phone number from James”. Frank also felt that they were trying to hide something more. I couldn’t take it anymore. I wanted Frank’s wife and James to know that someone had busted them. I also, wanted Frank to know that something more sinister was indeed going on. Again, I was starting to let my emotions take the most of me. I wanted James and Frank’s wife to be busted and destroyed but I didn’t want Frank to be more hurt than he already was.

I told Frank that I was on the Belt Parkway. I asked him to please meet me at my condo. He said “he still had the key and would beat me there”. He continued to talk about his missing and wanting to see the girls. It was all getting so obnoxiating. I wanted to switch the conversation but felt it would be insensitive. So I rode for another 45 minutes listening to nothing but him going on and on about the girls. I was glad when I rode up to the front door of my building.

As I jumped out of my Suv, Ralph came around to my door. He handed the keys to the valet parker and took my bags. Ralph started telling me that some very important men had come to view the tapes from the parking garage. He asked me to come into the security office with him. I called up to my place from the inside phone. I asked Frank to come downstairs to hear what Ralph had to say. So as I sat with Ralph, I made small talk. We talked about the Mets being in first place for the NLC. As I sat there talking to Ralph, his body language seemed to be peculiar. It was at that very moment, I was happy I had asked Frank to meet me downstairs. Now, as Ralph talked, I started replaying the past couple of conversations with him, in my head. I was trying to re-enact his actions and reactions to me. I was so deep into thought that I hadn’t heard Frank come into the room. “Destiny, Destiny, Destiny”, Frank was calling my name as he started to shake me. I shook my head, looked up at him and smiled. I laughed at the look of worry on his face. Frank didn’t laugh back at me. He pulled a chair up to mine and started asking if I was okay. I touched his face as I assured him that I was fine. He waited a moment looking into my eyes before turning his chair to face Ralph. He asked Ralph to start to tell us about the people who had been coming around asking questions about me. The more Ralph talked the more I realized that his ‘concern’ wasn’t about me but about him. I didn’t understand what was going on but I had the funny feeling, something wasn’t right. I thanked Ralph and stood to leave. Frank reached for my hand as he stood up to leave. We didn’t say anything as we left. We just walked hand in hand to the elevator.

As soon as the elevator doors closed, we started kissing. I don’t remember if I went to him or he came to me first. It wasn’t a kiss of lust or passion. It felt more like a kiss of two people needing to reassure each other that everything was going to work out. When the elevator doors opened, I stepped off the elevator first. I kept my back to Frank as I opened the door and stepped into the foyer. I heard Frank lock the door as I continued to walk into my den. As I opened the safe, I heard the television come on in the living room. I took the DVD out and relocked the safe. I walked back to the living room, put the DVD in and then sat on the couch beside Frank. Before I turned the DVD player on I turned to him. I asked “If he remembered the day that I went to his house?” Before he could answer I told him that when I went his wife wasn’t alone and that she had company. Then I started telling him that I had taped what I saw and mailed the DVDs before I knew what was going on with him. I explained that I never wanted to have to be the one that told or showed him what I saw. However, after listening to him this afternoon, I knew that he needed to know and I must be the one to do it. I bent over and kissed him. I pulled back when he tried to kiss me back. I couldn’t let him think that I had kissed him out of love because I knew my kiss was a kiss of sorrow. I turned on the DVD. We watched it the first time in silence and then Frank pressed play again and again. As I sat studying Frank’s face, I couldn’t understand what I was reading. Frank gave no emotion what so ever. After at least his fourth time of watching it, he just got up and started walking towards the door. I called after him and then jumped up to run to the door before he could reach it. I reached the door and threw my back against it, just as he reached for the knob. His 6’ 6” frame shadowed over my 5’3” frame. He just looked at me, more like through me before taking me by my shoulders and pushing me to the side. He opened the door and walked towards the steps. I watched as he pushed the emergency door open and walked through. I couldn’t believe that he was going to walk down 12 flights of steps. I went back into my condo, locked the doors and then reached for my house phone. I called Frank’s parents’ home. When his mother answered I spoke with her for a brief moment and then asked for his father. When Frank, Sr came to the line, I asked if he could just hear me out before saying anything. I told him what had happened a little over 3 years ago, when it broke off and why it had just recently started. I didn’t leave out any details, especially the part about my house visit. When I had finished talking, Frank Sr said he had just one question. I told him to go ahead that I would be perfectly honest, as honest as I could be. Frank Sr asked “Why did you guys break up, if you were just going to go through this and be together?” I told him the truth, nothing else to do but be bluntly honest. I had never even told my parents. Only Faith, Hope, Frank and I knew. I told Frank, Sr all about the holes in the condoms. That I couldn’t take the fact that Frank wanted to be with me so much that he would risk my going to Columbia University by impregnating me. Frank, Sr said he understood and then said he had to get off the phone and call Frank’s brothers, Frank’s uncle and Frank’s police partner. I knew that Frank would be okay as long as his father and partner got to him in time. I wasn’t so sure that Frank’s uncle, James’ father would be as understanding. James’ father was a minister and always tried to carry a different level of honor. So I knew that although James’ father may not go to locate Frank he would definitely deal with James, on his own terms.

All of this had my head spending. I went into my bathroom to run me a hot bath. I started the water running with my Carol’s Daughter Stress Ritual. As the water ran, I sat down on my Rachel Crime’s leather chair at my dressing table. I started to brush my hair into a doobee wrap. After I had it pinned up, I put my shower cap on. I noticed that my eyes were looking a little baggy and that I needed a facial. I would have to look at my appointment book for this week and try to get into the spa. I decided if not then I would call my team and schedule a spa at my place. I stood up and undressed but before I stepped into my Jacuzzi, I realized that I hadn’t lit my candles or poured myself a drink. I walked, naked into my kitchen. That was another reason that I love living alone, I could walk from room to room without any clothes on. I opened my refrigerator and took out the Bailey’s, Kahlua, Ciroq vodka and the ice. I poured the ingredients into my blender. Then I realized that I hadn’t eaten since earlier that morning. So I pulled out some frozen fried chicken, spaghetti and string beans. Although, I hadn’t heard from Frank, I put enough in the pots to feed him, if he came back. I was glad that I had my housekeeper cook and freeze the food. That way I always had a home cooked meal. My housekeeper had gotten into the habit of putting the food into Storage Bags. She would then label the bags with the contents, date she bagged the food and the expiration date. After I put the food to cook, I poured my Screaming Orgasm into a tall Crate and Barrel glass mug, added some whipped cream and then grated cinnamon over it. On my way back to the bathroom, I picked up my house phone. I tried calling Frank again but he didn’t answer. So I continued into my bathroom.

When I got into the tub, my muscles started to relax. I couldn’t believe how stressed I was feeling. I soaked for awhile trying to remember the conversations with Ralph again. Although I was starting to remember the brief conversations, I wasn’t seeing any signs of his acting strange. I decided that I would ask Friend to do a background check on Ralph. Ralph, I knew worked for the building for a little over 6 years. He had always seemed kind and considerate. Thinking about Friend, reminded me that I hadn’t spoken to him today. I wanted to call him but I didn’t want him to come over. Frank still had my keys.

After I got out of the tub and had put on my Cosabella Bamboo Top & Lounge Pants, I decided that this was my place so I called Friend. He still didn’t answer. This time I decided against leaving a message or calling his answering service. I figured that he would get back to me. I went into the kitchen and fixed my plate. I thought it a little weird that I hadn’t heard from Justin, either. I sat at the bar and called Justin while I ate. He answered said that he had been home and was with his family. I told him to call me tomorrow when he got the chance. I guess the only thing for me to do after eating dinner was to go to bed. So I ate, put my dishes away and went to bed.

I woke up to my house phone ringing. I rolled over to look at the clock while I answered the house phone. It was Frank Sr. He asked me if I had heard from Frank. When I told him that I hadn’t he told me that he hadn’t heard back from Frank, also. He said that they had all gone to Frank’s house. There they encountered her and Frank’s mother stayed with her. Frank Sr. also told me that James and James’ wife had received the DVD and were separating. James’ wife had put him out, changed the locks and called a divorce attorney already. I was so tired. We spoke for another half hour with me promising to call Frank Sr. if I heard back from Frank. I hung up the phone and pulled the covers over my head.

The next time I woke up, I heard noises coming from my den. I knew it was too early for the housekeeper. I quietly got out of bed, pulled my nightstand open and got my Smith & Wesson. I then pulled on my bathrobe and tip toed down the hall. As I cocked my gun, I looked up and saw Frank. I was livid! I had almost shot him. I asked him what he was doing sleeping in the den. He explained that he didn’t want to wake me and that he just needed some time alone. He asked if it was ok, if he stayed with me. I told him that it would be fine. I agreed that he should stay in the den. This way his head wouldn’t be clouded with me. I asked him if he wanted to talk to Faith. She was a psychiatrist with her own practice. I wasn’t recommending that he see Faith but get a referral from her for one of her colleagues. Frank said he’ll think about it. I went to my linen closet to get out my B. Smith linen for the sofa bed in the den. When I walked back into the den, Frank had pulled out the bed and was undressing. I quickly put the sheets on the bed and flipped the comforter out. I knew that if I took one look at his well sculptured body, I wouldn’t be able to restraint myself. After, I was finished I went back into my bedroom. The clock now read 4:45am. Great, almost time that I got up for work. Just as I was rolling over, I heard sobbing coming from the den. I didn’t get up; Frank needed to get it all out. Maybe, I should stay at a hotel, I laughed to myself.