My Diary - The Beginning

Walking outside, I saw Faith sitting on a bench, my car in front of the police station but I didn’t see Frank. I walked to the bench and sat down, beside Faith. Remembering the pain she felt in losing ‘Lee’, I asked Faith how she was doing. She stated that she was fine. She was more interested in the way Frank and I were behaving. She thought that we were acting as if we were a couple. I tried to explain that I did and probably would always have deep feelings for Frank. I was enjoying having him at the condo because He made me feel safe. Faith laughed and told me that I was probably enjoying the dick in a jar, as well. That’s what we called having more than one sexual partner, “A Dick in a Jar”. It meant we always had a back-up. I laughed it off. Funny, thing is although I hated to admit it, even to myself, I was starting to want Frank around me. The main things that kept me at bay were his girls and my independence. I wasn’t going to let Faith off the hook that easy though. We had grown up together. There was not a day that we breathed that we hadn’t been friends. Faith, Hope and Destiny. Not necessarily in that order but in that closeness. So I knew that as sure as I was lying to myself, Faith was also lying to herself but not to me. I figured that time would tell. Faith’s husband Scott knew that Faith wasn’t in love with him when they married. However, he felt that time and familiarity would keep them together. It’s funny how doctors were able to analyze and treat their patients but often couldn’t follow their own orders. So far, Scott had been right. Up until now. The look that Faith gave Lee and he returned showed there was unfinished business between them. Frank knew it also. Looking around for Frank, now, I saw him talking to some men. I was just about to say something more to Faith when my phone rang. The caller id displayed Justin’s number. I excused myself from the bench, after showing the phone to Faith, and got up to walk away. Justin told me that he had gone over in one meeting that made him run late getting to another. He wanted to know where I was at and if we were going to still be able to get together. His running late was a good thing. It would allow me to complete my business. When we left here I intended to drop Faith off with Frank and then head up to Manhattan. Justin went on about his wanting to spend time with me and how his thinking about me was the only way he was making it through the day. Justin always knew what to say to make me smile. There was no way that I could turn him down, not that I wanted to. As I saw Frank walking toward us, I agreed to call him before leaving for the hotel. He blew kisses at me, as I hung up the phone.

Frank wanted us to go with him to his attorney. I agreed because I knew that he needed the moral support. Frank gave the driver the address to the attorney’s office. Luckily, everything was right in Astoria. That meant with luck I would do good time in getting to Manhattan. Faith talked about her twins and how big they were growing. I apologized because I hadn’t been to see my goddaughters in a while. She told me that they are always asking for Auntie Destiny. I smiled, Charity Lee and Chastity Leigh were little angels. So far the closest I had come to being a real Godmother was setting up a trust fund, paying for their education and extra-curricular activities. I wasn’t really into children. I always tried to find something else to do when it came to birthday parties. I just didn’t have that maternal gene. Didn’t have it as a little girl and was tired of explaining that to people. Frank and Faith started showing off pictures of their daughters. I hadn’t seen Frank’s daughters and didn’t want to. I took out one of my cell phones and called into my office. The receptionist, Melody answered. We talked for awhile before she passed me through to Brandi. Brandi said that she had drawn up offers for two clients and that she was going to put them on my desk. She said that she had to leave before I got there, she needed to register for classes. I reminded her to bring in her schedule so that I could approve the classes for tuition reimbursement. I asked her if she had found someone to cover the time she would need off to attend school. She said that she had a few prospects but wanted to interview them before having them apply. Afterwards, I spoke to Brianna. Brianna informed me that a new company had called about retaining my services. When she attempted to look them up, she couldn’t find anything on them. Not in the Better Business Bureau, online or at the Bureau of Licensing. She felt that there was something not right about this company. I asked her to fax the information to our attorney asking for an inquest. I normally get bogus clients. Most of the time it was my competition finding out how I handled new clients or asking for free advice. I viewed my knowledge of the HR field much to that like an attorney. I had to stay aware of the current laws governing employees and employers. Although I had my Juris Doctorate in Law, I preferred not to practice it. I used my degree for both of my businesses but that was all. I kept up my certification and continuing education. Education is very important to me. I made it a policy in both of my companies to pay part of the tuition fees of my employees. I also sent and paid for them to go to continuing education courses in their prospective fields. After speaking with them both, I felt comfortable about being a little late going in. My driver pulled up in front of Frank’s attorney’s building. Frank and Faith scrambled to put away their wallets before descending from the car. They got out when they had everything put away.

I lagged behind Frank and Faith. I was dreading having to get this deep involved. I always felt that no matter what I wasn’t involved with his divorce. I considered my incidents with Frank’s wife separate from Frank’s divorce. I know it seemed stupid to some people but it’s how I tried to keep myself grounded. Faith was telling Frank that if he found a house near her, she could look into openings at the school, the daycare provider and extra curricular activities. She felt that it would be a big help to him to have everything in order before facing the judge. I agreed with her but didn’t comment. Frank turned and reached for my hand. I smiled, before giving him my hand. Just before we reached the attorney’s door, I reached for Faith. She gave me the strength I needed to walk through that door.

Frank’s attorney was an older woman. She seemed to be real rigid in her demands. She laid everything on the line. The fact that Frank was the legal father was in his favor. She felt that the girls’ not knowing that he wasn’t their father was also good. She said that Frank appeared to be doing everything that the courts would consider to be consistent. He displayed consistency by still providing not just monetary and insurance support but also emotional support. His continuing to have visits with his daughters and allowing them to have an open relationship with their maternal grandparents would also work in his favor. She displayed concern about his staying at my house. I didn’t respond verbally but made direct eye contact with her when she said it, especially since she looked directly at me. Frank immediately told her his plans of purchasing a house in the suburbs. She felt that his buying a house should be put on hold until the divorce was finalized. I told her that he would be looking for a short term lease to own. She thought that was perfect. The fact that his wife continued to want to stay married after she had knowledge of his extramarital affair with me was also in his favor. However, she felt that the most damaging factor to his custody battle would be the girls’ fathers. Not knowing who they were could be crucial. I didn’t say anything. When his lawyer mentioned their fathers, I remembered that Friend said he knew who they were. More and more, it seemed as if Frank and Friend needed to meet. I knew that it would be selfish on my part to continue to keep them apart. They needed to collaborate on who was stalking me and on Frank’s daughters. I thought that maybe I could do it in a way that they wouldn’t know that I was seeing them both. Realistically, I knew that Friend already knew everything there was to know about Frank.


Well, I figured that I would have a little time to work out their meeting. That was until his lawyer told him that she was filing an emergency placement suit. This would get the ball rolling in getting temporary custody established. Frank’s wife being in a mental institute undergoing psychiatric testing helped him, immensely. I knew that I would have to contact Friend and get the information about the girls’ fathers.

My phone started ringing off the hook. I had gotten my cell phone back from the police officers. I looked at the caller id and it was Justin. I knew that he would be starting to get anxious because he didn’t have much time in the NY. I was getting just as anxious. Especially after coming out of Frank’s lawyer’s office. Faith and I excused ourselves while Frank continued to fill out the necessary paperwork for the custody placement and the divorce.

I pressed the answer key and asked “What’s wrong”. Justin started telling me how his proposal had went great and they needed him to stay an extra day. I thought it was a good thing. What I didn’t like was the fact that I had told Justin that I would call him. His calling me back and it not being a medical emergency had me feeling as if he was invading my privacy. I looked at Faith and rolled my eyes. She knew that something was wrong. Justin went on talking about his meeting and how great it was that he would be able to spend more time with me. I don’t know if he really understood how upset I was. I know that I didn’t say anything but that should have told him something. Anyway, I let Justin go on and on about basically nothing until I saw Frank coming towards us. In Justin’s mid- sentence, I interrupted him and told him, I’ll call him when I was finished working. I told Faith that Justin was pressing me about spending time with him. She laughed and told me that if I didn’t stop working my voodoo on these men, I would have more problems. After she said that she realized that I was already having trouble and we didn’t know from whom. She hugged me and apologized. I laughed it off, even though I was starting to really get worried on the inside. Frank came over and hugged me. I hugged him back and then asked him why he had hugged me. He said that he knew how much it took for me to go with him to the attorney and to hear all about his divorce. I looked from him to Faith and then asked if I seemed that shallow. I really wanted to know if how I was feeling about not wanting to be involved with Frank’s children and divorce showed. I wanted to know because if it showed ho I felt about that then it showed how I was starting to feel about Frank. Faith assured me that it wasn’t a bad thing but because I didn’t say much in the attorney’s office, everyone could tell that I was uncomfortable. Frank felt that my uncomfortness had to do with the situation with his wife. I let him go with that. My feelings about children were well known but I didn’t want Frank to feel that I didn’t care. I apologized to both of them for seeming miserable and making them uncomfortable. They accepted my apology and we hugged again, for the umpteenth time. I was happy that I would be dropping them off and getting to work. I know that Justin had just upset me but I was glad he was in the NY. I needed to release some of the anxiety and irritability that I was feeling.