My Diary - Still at the Beginning 2

My driver walked me to the elevator and waited until I had gotten in. I told him that he could take tomorrow off. With Frank here and working from home, I didn’t need him. When I got upstairs, Frank was in his room. I don’t know when but I had started referring to the den as his room. I called out to him and told him that I would be there after taking a shower. I walked into my room to find beautiful calla lilies everywhere. There were pink, purple, brown, white and yellow ones. I loved them! I didn’t know what to say. What if Frank hadn’t bought them? Really, I hoped he hadn’t but I secretly wanted them to be from him more than Friend or Justin. I searched around for a card but couldn’t find one. I started rearranging them and carrying the vases from room to room. Perfect! They would give the condo an added touch for the pictures and video, tomorrow, I thought. As I was about to carry 2 vases downstairs for the kitchen and living room, I met Frank on the staircase. He smiled at me and pulled me to him. I almost tipped over a vase and fell trying to catch it.

When I came to Frank was rubbing my head and I was lying on the couch. I just laughed and told him that I must be turning into a klutz. Frank smiled and told me that he needed to really talk with me. I grimaced, I knew the sound in his voice and he wanted to talk about his ‘situation’ that had quickly become my ‘situation’ as well. Frank told me that he knew how I felt about children but that he wanted to arrange a meeting between the three of us. That he wanted me to try and get to know his daughters. He wanted to be able to maintain a relationship with me, after he had the girls and moved. I knew what he was saying to me. I knew Frank well enough to know, that if I couldn’t have some type of relationship with his daughters then I couldn’t be a part of his life.

I sat up and asked him to get me something to drink. He asked if I wanted something strong. I laughed and thought that I could really use a strong drink but instead I asked for a glass of water. Frank went into the kitchen and pulled a bottle of Deer Park out of the refrigerator. I watched as he opened a cabinet and poured it into a glass. Amazing, how one person could really know you, I thought, as he walked back into the living room with the glass. I accepted the glass from him and took a sip. When I started to sit the glass on the table, Frank handed me a coaster. Ugh! Sometimes, his knowing me so well made me mad because it also made me love him.

Frank, I said, I would be happy to meet your daughters. I had given it some thought and knew that the time would eventually come. I had managed all these years to try and act as if they didn’t exist but I knew that I couldn’t pretend any longer. I told him about the listings that I had for him to look over. I had found quite a few homes in the areas near Hope, Faith and my mom. That way he could have the help from them when he needed it.

He seemed genuinely happy about all that I had just said to him. However, I could tell that more was on his mind. He told me that his wife’s attorney had called him and told him that she was signing over her custody to him. She wanted to continue her psychiatric treatment and that she felt with the pending criminal trials, it would help her. I was now really happy for him. I wasn’t going to drop any charges but I was happy for him. That’s when he told me that the only hold up was the fact that no one knew who the girls’ real father was. I sighed deeply and the reached for my cell phone. I didn’t hesitate or think twice about what I was going to do. Friend answered on the third ring. The sound of his voice made my heart start. Up until he answered the phone, I felt as if my heart had stopped. I had to stop him in mid sentence; I asked if he was working tomorrow. He could tell from the sound of my voice that I had something serious on mind. He told me that he would be tied up in the morning and most of the afternoon. I asked if he would be able to come to my house, after 10pm, tomorrow evening. He assured me that he would postpone his meetings, if I needed him to. I thanked him but told him that tomorrow night would be fine. I went on and asked him to bring the information about Frank’s daughters and their true paternity. I also asked him, if he would be up to meeting Frank. Friend was concerned that this was what I wanted. Although, I knew it could possibly change the relationship I had with Friend, I needed him to do this for Frank. He understood and said that he would be at my house after 10pm. I went on about how I had been feeling, physically and mentally. I told him my plans about selling and that I would be working from home. He agreed that I needed a new start and that a new home would help cheer me up. He thought my strategy to listing and showing the home was right on point. He asked me to make a doctor’s appointment and wanted to know how I had been eating. We talked for about 10 more minutes before I hung up.

Frank just looked at me, at first, and then he pulled me to him and told me that he loved me. I don’t know what it was that made me start crying, the thought that I may no longer see Friend as my private companion or the fact that I was falling back in love with Frank. Frank tilted my head back to look at me. It was more than I could take. I grabbed his hand and pulled him to me. I wanted to feel his heart beating with mine. Without words being spoken, Frank knew exactly what I wanted and how I was feeling. He just held me against his chest and allowed me to rest until I had fallen asleep.