My Diary - Still at the Beginning

When I awoke, I was in my bed with Frank’s tee shirt on. I couldn’t have been that tired, could I? That Frank was able to get me upstairs and undressed without my waking up. I turned over to look at the time and the clock read 9:45am. Damn! Something was wrong, I couldn’t have slept this long. Just as I smacked my pillow and was about to roll over, Hope came into my bedroom. “Hey sweetie are you ok?” she asked me as she handed me some toast and a glass of orange juice. My head was too heavy to question or answer her. I laid my head back onto my pillow and closed my eyes. “Destiny, please at least drink the orange juice”, I heard Hope saying to me. I tried to lift my head from the pillow but couldn’t. Hope started screaming for Frank. I heard him come running up the stairs.


Frank lifted my head and asked if I was okay while Hope went to get her doctor’s bag. When she was sitting by my side, I teased her about her Fendi doctor bag. She told me to shut up and open my mouth. Well, I decided that I couldn’t have my mouth open and still be able to shut up. Hope reminded me that if I hadn’t been feeling so bad, she would clobber me with one of my pillows. My head felt too heavy to laugh. I opened my mouth so that she could take my temperature. Once she was satisfied that I wasn’t running a fever, she asked me what I had been eating lately. I told her and then she thought that with everything going on, my body was just asking for a rest. I told her that I would stay in bed for the rest of the day. Frank said that he would stay with me, in case I needed him. I smiled at him and then asked him for more juice. While he went downstairs to get it, I told Hope about my call to Friend and how I asked him to come over. She was amazed that I was possibly giving up a further relationship with Friend. She questioned me about this major sacrifice.

I tried to find a way to let her know that I was doing it because it was the right thing to do. However, Hope being herself knew better. She started talking to me about finally accepting love and trying to let the relationship between Frank and I grow. She felt that we all knew that Frank’s marriage was just a diversion from his true love. Hope said that Faith had told her how Frank and I had interacted as one, again. I knew that what she wasn’t saying, at least not yet, was that my choice to be the other woman was because I had built a wall so that I couldn’t be hurt again. Frank’s deception was really hard for me. I had always thought that we wanted the same thing in life. When I discovered that he had been putting holes in our condoms, I was devastastated. I couldn’t find a way to forgive or accept him.

To discourage further conversation, I told her that I was tired again. I fluffed my pillow and laid my head back, against it. I turned my side to her and closed my eyes. Hope patted me on my arm and said that Faith would be over later. I mumbled okay and closed my eyes. I could hear her and Frank talking on the stairs. She told him that he could sit the glass back in the refrigerator because I was totally tired.